Wedding Day

Wedding Day
Enjoy EVERY moment in your wedding gown. You can't stay in it forever...SO UNFAIR!!!!

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Coffee and simple pleasures

Today I am focusing on all the things that just make life a little more comfy. The simple pleasures. I had a stressful week...a great weekend, but a stressful week. Sunday started off pretty great. The Patriots beat the Colts, and it was a close game. That made me happy in two ways: 1. The Patriots won! 2. It was close so I had a good dose of humility which was probably a good thing to have since my boss is a Colts fan. :)

Monday started off fine, but ended up pretty crummy. Someone broke into our house and stole lots of things. They also damaged our garage door and our garage/kitchen entry door badly. I will probably write about that at some point, but that isn't my focus today. It is just one of the reasons I realized I need to enjoy some simple things.
So here are my simple pleasures and treats list. I am going to write down five of my favorite simple pleasures.

1. HUGS I get a pretty cool kick out of hugs from my husband or my son. I like the warmth of a hug. I like how they make me feel...I like hugging my husband or my son so hard that they make little noises. It makes me laugh. Don't feel bad for them; they do the same to me. My husband will hug me and squeeze me again and again and laugh because I look like a giant blond squeeze toy, complete with squeaks and silly grunts. Of course it makes me laugh too which makes the noises come out even better. How can that not be a simple pleasure?

2. Looking up old music videos from the 80s or old commercials. What a blast! I guess again I am looking at the things that make me giggle or laugh. There is a lot of nostalgia there too. I like watching silly old music videos because they take me back in time, and they are so darn cheesy. And old commercials, YIKES! Even better are old foreign commercials. I found one last night that Wham did, and I couldn't believe they actually agreed to it. The members were kind of flying around with this really bright back ground! PRICELESS.

3. I derive MUCH pleasure from saving money. Yep...I don't have a thing for being a skinflint, but it was a necessity thing that I now just love.

For example...I love cutting coupons and using them. I started couponing when I was a single mom quite some time ago. I did not have a lot of money to stretch, and I learned right away that it was important to keep track of sales and use coupons. I managed to keep my son and myself well fed on 200 dollars a month by using coupons and buying things in bulk and freezing.
I also was a thrift store and yard sale nut. There was a store in particular that I was crazy about called Savers. They had HUGE sales a few times a year, and I would line up with 50 to 100 people just waiting for the place to open on their half off day. It was an enormous thrift store and I could pretty much get all of my son's back to school clothes for fall and winter (no kidding here really) for $30. The only things I would not buy there would be undies and socks. Everything else was purchased there. How can you say no to a winter jacket by London Fog for $3.00? When buying for a kid, thrift stores are the best because they don't really have a chance to wreck much when they are little because they grow too fast. That store and many yard sales helped furnish my apartment as well. I could go on and on, because it is a simple thing but also a passion of mine. I probably will one of these days.
Anyway, it is a pleasure for me to save money. If I have a coupon, and I like the item, I'm going to find it and use it. Plus if you save on some things you can splurge on some others.

4. Coffee. A real pleasure...I LOVE waking up to the smell of coffee brewing. I love sitting with a good book while drinking a cup of coffee. I like it hot, iced, and frozen. I will splurge on coffee, but not by going to fancy coffee bars. I have...I just don't do it too much anymore. It is okay occasionally, but I find I enjoy those ventures more if it is a treat.
My home coffee still has to be special, and that is where my splurge is. I do spend a little extra on this. I don't like just any coffee. I like Dunkin Donuts coffee. I make it at home, and that brings down the cost. I like to grind my own beans, but I'll take it preground as well. There isn't a Dunkin Donuts where I live. I developed a love for Dunkin Donuts when I lived in Rhode Island. When I was in college, I would stop at DD on the way to school. I would sip on it in class or drink an icy one while sitting in the quad with friends. When I went out with my friends at night...our last stop would always be DD. We would get the biggest cup we could and drink it while we walked around the neighborhood and talked. DD instills all these great memories. I wont continue, because I don't want to get ahead of myself here.
When I moved back to California, I was pretty bummed to be without my favorite coffee. My friend Kim even mailed me two bags for Christmas. When I shared with another friend, Sylvia what Kim had sent me she said "Dude, you are so lucky! I miss that stuff!" That is how good it is!!!
After I got married, I moved to Arizona. I found out there was no DD here either. About two months after I moved here I was browsing through a flyer and saw that one of the stores was going to start selling DD coffee! I was thrilled! I only buy it now. It is expensive, but worth it, and it is still cheaper than buying coffee house coffee. The way I drink is a MUCH better way to go.

5. Going on a road trip. Even if it is just a two hour drive, I enjoy taking a road trip. It is so much fun stopping somewhere you have never been before and eating at a local coffee shop, or taking pictures at a tourist trap. I love the vibe of a tourist area. Everyone is so excited and happy to be going somewhere or coming home from somewhere. People watching is great on a road trip. I also have a thing for a road trip, because my family was big into driving to see monuments, national parks, and the biggest ball of twine. Okay, maybe not the biggest ball of twint, but many other me on this one. Now I have it in me. I traveled all over New England, and my goal is to spend some time traveling all over the west now. It was fun as a kid, but I think I have even more fun with it now that I am an adult.

<<<----Road trip to Vegas what we call Jim Nestor's Rock (have you seen it?)

Well, if I could add one more pleasure I would also add snuggling up to my husband and watching tv. I'm going to go do that now.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007


03/06/2008 ---I am editting this post for language. It isn't that the feelings I had weren't valid and the termonology I used did represent what I was thinking. I just don't want anyone young to stumble upon it. In my day-to-day life I am not the type of person who uses foul language to a severe degree. But this is a blow-by-blow of my feelings after coming home to a break in. It was a scary afternoon. This was a therapy of sorts for me, but again, I do not want anyone to be offended.
What I have changed will be italicized.


Warning...not so nice language in a few places....

I'm having trouble today. It was one of those really freaking bad days. I have been a swirl of really interesting words today. Words like fear....

I was afraid today. I came home for lunch as I do almost every day. I like leaving the office. I like the opportunity to feed the cats, mess around on the computer, and just chill out at home. Because I live close to work, it is possible for me to come home for lunch. It is a blessing really. It was a blessing today, but it was also a curse.

How can it be both? It was both because when I drove home I passed the creepy home around the corner, and there was a guy sitting in the front yard like he has been lately, and he was staring as usual. Across the street there were some kind of undesirable people, but they apparently were forced to move on. Anyway the creepy guy always seems to look right through you somehow. It bugged me, and I was uneasy on the ride to our house. Uneasy and bad thoughts in my head of him being a lookout while others broke into the homes on our street. It is a fairly deserted looking street, and I have a very vivid imagination. -=The odd thing was...he probably had nothing to do with what happened next, but it is strange how my mind already knew what was going on before I did.

I backed into the driveway, grabbed my bag and phone, and went to unlock the door. The door's top lock wasn't locked. I didn't think too much of it. I unlocked the bottom lock and opened the door.

I felt uncertainty...

Imagine being at the threshold of your home and seeing that something is just not right. At first things are so bizarre that you aren't sure you are getting the right message from your eyeballs to your brain. You look to your left and you see that there is a piece of wood leaning on your garage entry door, and that door is a quarter of the way open, inside the garage you can see a light is on. You look straight ahead while still standing at the threshold and see that your dresser (your new dresser that you haven't even put clothes in yet) is open. You suddenly get the picture.


This was me at about 12:50 today. Home for lunch, and actually home late. I usually am home by 12:05, but there was a meeting today, and I got out late for lunch. Would things have been different if I got home earlier? You wonder that.


I got the picture all right. I backed out of the entry way and locked the door again. I don't know why I locked the door. I then tried to call my husband, but bad reception made me hang up and call 911. Really that was the thing I was supposed to do, but I really wanted him there. After a few transfers I got to speak to the sheriff's office and fill them in on what was going on.


Someone broke in. I had no idea of what the damage was or what was missing as I quickly got out. I only knew one thing...our home had been violated, and I couldn't stop shaking. I didn't know if the person was still in my home, but the lower lock being locked made me pretty sure they were gone.


I didn't have a clue of anything when the officer came to the house. He had me come in after him, because he said someone could still be around. I tentatively entered in after him, and saw more clearly what happened. Though really it was all in stages.
Stage 1...yep...the door was definitely kicked in. I had wondered how someone got in. I thought about how Scott took care of all the windows, how we locked EVERYTHING always before we left. It didn't matter. These people wanted in and they chose to break their way in through our garage door and through our locked garage entry. You can see that they tried to pry open the door, but the lock was good. I imagine they got pretty pissed, and I imagine that breaking it down hurt them a bit. The wall next to the door looks pretty freaking hurt.


Stage 2...Alex's play room. This is kind of the mini living room that Alex likes to hang out in to play video games and watch television. It is also where he reads and does his homework. I noticed really quickly that whoever broke in decided they would help themselves to the Playstation 2, most of Alex's video games, and all of Scott's video games. My first thought..."freaking jerks." How do you steal toys? How does someone do that? I know people steal for all kinds of reasons, but to go in a room that has legos in it and a few stuffed animals and to just take something that so obviously belongs to a kid. What the heck? There was also a little toy bag that had his Nintendo DS. Again this was obviously a kid's bag (you can tell by the colors and obviously the contents), but someone figured they could make a buck and took it. CREEPS. When I think of how my kid worked and saved up his allowance for many of those things it just pisses me off that some loser would steal them. This person chose to destroy our home rather than actually work for something. JERK. The icing on the cake is that this person actually stole my son's Superman penny bank!

Stage 3...the bedroom...Opened dresser drawers (again a dresser we haven't even had the chance to fill up with clothing yet, because we just purchased it), an upended bed, and opened bedside table drawers. I had a couple of jewelry bags, well not really jewelry bags, but a little leather purse that I put in all of the jewelry I have managed to keep from "back in the day" It contained a baby ring I wore when I was very little, the button I got from The Hard Rock Cafe in New York when it was a cool place to hang out, a necklace that my son made me in kindergarten, a guitar pick from Michael Wilton that I got at an when I saw Queensryche during Operation Mindcrime, a guitar pick from Reb Beach, a Bon Jovi pin, gold hoop earrings my sister-in-law gave me from Mexico, my friendship cord that my friend Alex gave me when he came back from Jamaica, a fucking Barbie key chain, and then there was the earring made out of my Nana's wedding ring (the other one lost in a bus depot when I was trying to help a friend who was trying to run away from home, a ruby ring that my mom gave me, and a lot of other jewelry that is all priceless in that their value was more than a dollar amount could measure because their value was wrapped up in memories.


I freaked out when I first approached my bed side table. I knew I had a lot of memories in that drawer...the pearl necklace I bought when I was 18 (I always wanted one and saved up for a year to get it) -- I wore in my was my something old. I had kept almost all of my jewelry in there including the necklace my husband got me for Valentine's Day I always kept it in the box that it came in. In that drawer was also a heart-shaped box my husband gave me that once had candy in it. It was so pretty and it was from him so I kept it. I had since put in my two Tiffany boxes with my Tiffany's bracelet and Tiffany's necklace in that box. It held them perfectly, and I could tie it up all pretty. For some reason just tying them up in that box made me happy.

I am glad you missed them. It didn't take away my pain at the other losses, but it made me happy to know you are a dink!

I am giving myself that moment of anger. It isn't pretty. I am not proud of it, but I feel. We all feel. This is not the worst thing in the world that can happen to someone, and in fact I have had worse. It is just another horrible violation, and for a moment I allow myself to indulge in being pissed off. I think that may be necessary to healing. I could be wrong, but I don't care.
It sucks that my cheap memories that mean so much to me will probably end up on the road somewhere or in a landfill. I probably will never hold that necklace Alexander made me again. Those memories will be in my mind, and in my journal to read about. The people I love are with me and safe. In the end I win. In the end I am a wife and a mother who works hard and loves harder.


Another note to the person or people who broke into our home. You have my pity. I feel sorry for you because you are a thief. I feel sorry for you because I am a strong believer in "you reap what you sow." In the end you will pay by your own guilt or by a punishment by law. I feel sorry for you because you are so narrow minded and have such low self esteem that you cannot even get a normal job to pay for what you need. have my pity. You have my pity not because you stole from me, but because you stole from my son, and you hurt my husband.

In the end I will move on, and I will forgive. I will forgive for me. I will forgive for my husband. And I will forgive for my son. I will not allow some fool or collection of fools to impact my life and make it negative. I have what you don't, buddy. The sad thing don't even know it.

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. Og Mandino

Saturday, October 27, 2007

Let's get this started...

Though I am not really crazy about the font...I am a comic sans kind of gal...I really do think I should write something sooooo this is my five minute start.

I will start with some details on me. I can think of nothing better to do, and since I am still getting accustomed to this whole thing, I think a simple starting place is always best.

To know me is to be confused by me. I am a 40-year-old newlywed and I just love it! There is nothing better than realizing that what you thought didn't exist actually does. In that I mean the perfect guy for me. My husband is hands down the one man who can love me and appreciate me for me. He is the guy who has found joy in my silliness. He is sweet, handsome, and we are compatible in more ways than I ever thought possible. Talk about a total package. He has also helped me fulfill a desire I had long ago. I am not talking about kinky sex (not that there is a problem with that), but the desire to move to Arizona. I am still discovering a lot about Arizona, but I wanted to move there long ago. Pretty much shortly after I had my son.

I must warn anyone who reads this, that I tend to move off of target...A LOT. So reading anything I write can possibly induce a headache. My husband finds this a charming part of my writing and life style. Another reason why he is perfect for me.

Anyway, I bought a book one day when my son was probably six months old. It was a list of great places to live. In it, I found Fountain Hills, Arizona. Fountain Hills seemed just the place for this single mom (yes...I was a single mom at the time). It would be a great place for a new start in life. Of course I couldn't just up and move with being a brand new mom and with not having a truck load of disposable income, but it planted itself in my mind. It became a silent wish...a dream. I mentioned it to my ex boyfriend (my son's father), and shortly afterward, he moved to Arizona. Not Fountain Hills but Tempe. I was a little pissed off, because I really was not expecting him to leave his comfort zone and go anywhere (in fact, he has since moved back to his home state), and because HE TOOK MY STATE! I digress a bit.

Actually now I digress A LOT! Why? Because a boyscout just came to my door, and my husband reminded me that he was in his pajamas and also that it was MY TURN to open the door for strangers. Well, the boyscout was selling popcorn--a great big honkin box of it--and how do you say no to a boyscout? I also have to add that his mom was standing at the top of the drive like a very good mom should, and again...not because of her, but I could not say no. I don't say no well anyway. Especially to a nice cause. If you see any boy scouts selling popcorn, consider helping them out. They don't have the luxury of girl scout cookies. I suppose popcorn is a more masculine thing to sell door to door. Honestly, I probably like popcorn more than girl scout cookies. That is probably due to the fact that I once had to peddle my own share of girl scout cookies, and I HATED it. No really, I did. I didn't like going door to door. Not that kids do that much anymore. Usually it is left to us parents to do the pushing of products to our friends and co-workers. I'll save that for another time.

Back to where I was...I was going to go on a five minute mini post, but I realize now that I just can't possibly. I have kind of lost my train of thought.

My dreams of Arizona were pretty much put on the back burner after my ex moved there. I still had hopes, but I occupied my time with learning to be a mom and getting a better education. I also kept myself fairly busy with keeping up with friends and the "Light Life." This is what I refer to as keeping things light. No complications, no entanglements, and NO DATING. There were two reasons for not dating. One was I really wanted to focus on my son. The other was I didn't want to get in a relationship, because then you have to include that person in many of your decisions. I already had my son to think about and a new extended family with his father's family involved. Bringing a new boyfriend into the mix was more than I could handle.

Time went on and relationships were eventually added here and there. I wont go into them....NOW...but I will.

Twelve years later I am married to the man of my dreams and living where I wanted to live. Well, not Fountain Hills, but a place that totally met my expectations and dreams, Prescott, Arizona. It has everything I wanted in a home town including a town common that is the coolest! It very much reminds me of the town commons you would see in such films as "Ground Hog Day." It is quaint with lots of shops and restaurants. It has some great art fairs and places to buy nice gifts for the family. I'll have to find a picture some time.

Anyway...I don't know where to go from here for now, because I am hungry and need to have a little nibble. I will fill in all the blanks that I have just created at some point. For now, I think I will make a toasted cheese sandwich and snuggle up with my man. :)