I have been in a struggle lately both physically and spiritually. My physical struggle some people are aware of as I wrote about it here several times. Spiritually I am not struggling with my faith, but I am struggling with my walk. I want so desperately to have a deeper walk with God.
I can't even explain the desire of my heart. I am at that point where I want so much to delve into my Bible and really know God and His words to me, but I have never been a great Bible study kind of girl. I just don't know how. I know how to read, but how to get DEEP into His Word. That is my desire.
I know God loves me, and I know He hears me. I have countless answered prayers. I have countless instances where I have seen him work in my life. I have had a life of struggle, but those struggles have brought me closer to Him. But I want to be closer. I am not sure if you can understand what I mean. It is hard to explain that I know God loves me and I know He is there for me, but I want to REALLY know him.
I read devotionals by some of my favorite authors and Christian leaders and I am just humbled by their depth of understanding. I WANT THAT. I want to really hear God speak. Anyway, I am writing this because I read a particularly great devotional this morning by Susanne Scheppmann through my Proverbs 31 Ministries: Daily Devotions. Susanne's devotion is titled The Committee, and it really helped me recognize a few things in myself. If you haven't read these devotionals, you might want to take a peek. They are incredible.
So this morning, I was reminded to really give God the opportunity to be heard over my many voices. I could relate so much to Susanne, because seriously I have a dozen voices all running along in my head. My voices encourage, discourage and often distract. It can make focusing on the Lord a little more than difficult.
I have decided to make a point of really listening to God's direction. This is to be my focus for July. I know it is the last day of June, but I was so excited I had to post this plan today.
Here is my not very well thought out plan. :) I am going to tackle several things this coming month and see how things go.
Since I am not sure how to really study my Bible and that is a HUGE part of my heart's desire, I am going to be reading "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl" by Lisa Terkeurst.
Here is a description from the Proverbs 31 Ministries Website:
Is something missing in your life? Lysa TerKeurst knows what it’s like to consider God just another thing on her to-do list. For years she went through the motions of a Christian life: Go to church. Pray. Be nice. Longing for a deeper connection between what she knew in her head and her everyday reality, she wanted to personally experience God’s presence. Drawing from her own remarkable story of step-by-step faith, Lysa invites you to uncover the spiritually exciting life we all long for. With her trademark wit and spiritual wisdom, Lysa will help you enjoy the passion of conversation with God, discover the life-changing words of the Bible, watch God use disappointments for good, and find incredible joy as you live your faith out every day.
As Lysa writes, “Fulfillment is closer than you ever thought possible—and found in the most unlikely places.” The adventure God has in store for your life just might blow you away. Reading Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl will enable you to:
- Learn how to make a Bible passage come alive in your own devotion time
- Replace doubt, regret, and envy with truth, confidence, and praise
- Stop thinking that there’s something bigger and better that you’re supposed to be doing
- Have inner peace and security in any situation
- Sense God responding to your prayers
Secondly, until I get through Lisa's book, I am going to read my Bible daily, but I am going to focus on one chapter at a time. My prayer is that God gives me some big ole signs during these chapter studies. Of course I have no idea what book of the Bible I am going to focus on, but I believe God will work that out for me by tomorrow. :)
Third, prayer. I am going to focus more on prayer. Time talking with God with this specific goal in mind. To know Him better and to better understand His word. I don't want to just read the Bible. I want His word to be imbedded into my heart in the way that I have always desired. This is not to say that I don't pray now, but I want to keep a mind on this specific purpose as well. Does that make sense?
Last, I will be journaling here. I have no idea what I will write about, but I will be journaling my progress either way. This is my accountability end. :) When I was reading the devotional today. There were some power verses that were included. This one in particular really struck home with me:
1 Kings 19:11-13 (New King James Version)
God’s Revelation to Elijah11 Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; 12 and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.
13 So it was, when Elijah heard it, that he wrapped his face in his mantle and went out and stood in the entrance of the cave. Suddenly a voice came to him, and said, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”
Pretty amazing isn't it?
I copied it in the New King James Version from BibleGateway.com If you haven't been there before, it is a GREAT resource.